Mental Health Awareness Month 2023
Hey friends, I hope everyone is doing well and is getting ready for that long-awaited warm weather that is on the horizon. This is an exciting time of year for so many people, for the kids, school is coming to an end, and summer break is so close you can taste the sunshine and ice cream. However, for me, the month of May is especially important. For those who don’t know, May is mental health awareness month. Mental health is extremely important to me. I think it's something that should be important to everyone because for some people their mental health is the difference between life and death. Today I'll be talking about my journey through dealing with my own personal mental health issues, tools to better your overall mental health. How we all can help each other because we all have issues, whether you would like to admit it or not. I’m pretty much an open book at this point, but it wasn’t always like that. For as long as I can remember my anxiety sometimes had complete control of my being. It dictated pretty much every decision, every action, every step I took throughout life. During this time of my life, I never talked to anybody about what was going on in my head. I was ashamed and embarrassed by these feelings because I thought I was the only one feeling this way. I am here to tell you that you are not alone. In my own head, I felt like I was on my own and that anxiety and fear created stress, depression, and anger to just name a few. These feelings in turn take over everything and that control proves too much for people sometimes. Fortunately for me, I found ways to combat these feelings before it was too late. It is different for everyone, but we all need something that keeps us grounded, that connects us to something bigger than ourselves, for me its been golf. I know now golf is my career but at one time it wasn’t a career at all, it was my lifeline. Golf gave me a way out of my own head. It showed me how to be a better man. It taught me responsibility and honor. Golf showed me how to win with pride and lose with grace. It took me away from a place of pain and fear and brought me to a place of success and happiness. Fast forward years later and golf has become my career. It is my identity, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has given me purpose, life, and joy. It has given me a beautiful relationship with my dad. It has given me a network of people who care and brought me more happiness than I could ever imagine. My life and mental health are still a work in progress. There are still growing pains and setbacks but at this point in my life they don’t knock me down anymore, they propel me forward.
While golf was my big lifeline, there are a few other things that I do specifically that help me get through everyday life. With that being said, these tools help me, and some might work, and some might not. It is important to find out what works for you. For me, I tend to worry a lot, mostly about things that do not necessarily deserve my time. What I do to combat the worry, is to write my worries down. I got really good at this, when somebody bothers me or stresses me out, I quickly will write it down, crumble it up and throw it away. By throwing it away, it is like throwing it out of your mind for good. Let's be honest, if it's not adding to your life, it's not worth it. The next thing I do, and this has been a game changer, daily meditation. Meditation is so crucial to many facets of your life. To begin with, it gives you time alone, and we all need some “me time” as I like to call it. Meditation allows you to gather your thoughts and sift through the everyday clutter of life. It allows you to focus on the things that are important to you. Lastly, it connects you to a part of you that you didn't know existed. Through meditation, I learned things about myself that I never knew existed. Now if you are confused or maybe don’t know how to meditate, the easiest way is to find a quiet, comfortable place. It is important you power down and turn off all electronics, the point is to disconnect from the outside and go into your own world inside your mind. The next part is to pick the happiest memory you can think of, for me, it was my first collegiate win and my dad hugged me on the 18th green and said “I knew you could do it!” I focus on that memory because it brought me a kind of joy that was so new to me at the time, and it grounds me. Once you find that memory let it take over you and let yourself go back to that time. Once you are there just sit there, don’t move, don’t speak, just sit and feel that connection. For me, I try my best to meditate at least twice a day but for many once a day for 5-10 minutes is perfect. The important part is to just give yourself a few minutes daily to just unwind. The last tool is to be present. Life is hectic, it's moving in a million directions, so when I'm doing things, I make sure that I'm physically and mentally aware of the moment. When I am with my family I am not on my phone or watching TV. I am there with them. When I'm with Gab, we aren’t sitting on phones, we are talking and actually listening to each other. Life is wildly short and if you don’t stop and look around once and while you might miss it.
It doesn’t matter who or what your lifelines are, the only thing that matters is that you find them and hold on to them very tight. Lastly, this is for the people that are hurting or struggling to make it through the day right now. I am here to tell you it will get better, even when you think it won’t. I promise it will get better. You are enough, you are worth it despite what somebody might say or what you might think you deserve to be here. I spent a good chunk of my life thinking that I wasn’t worthy of all the amazing things life has to offer. I was paralyzed by my own demons, and it almost cost me a lot, but things got better. I asked for help when I needed it and connected myself to people and this world. I am not saying any of this is easy, it took me years to find out what works and what does not. It took time to find peace in my own head. When the dust settles life can be more than you ever thought it could ever be.
In the end, I can’t promise much, the only thing I can say is that the fight through life is worth it. Find your peace, find your people, find joy, and make that joy contagious for the rest of the world.
This year NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has started their #MoreThanEnough Campaign. I encourage all of you to spread this campaign and its values throughout your life and the life of others because we are always enough. Below is the link to the NAMI website for further information on this year’s campaign.