“It didn’t matter how big our house; it mattered that there was love in it”

April 15, 2020

Hey y’all,

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.  We’ve made it through yet another week of quarantine. Today was the first day in a month where my mom actually said, “okay enough is enough, I’m ready to go back to school,” so that provided some laugher this afternoon.  As for me I’m slowly going insane but that’s too be expected.  I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling in that department. This post will be a little different, today is a special day.  Today would have been my grams 79th birthday. She unfortunately passed away 25 years ago due to cancer.  Today this post will be called “My Guardian Angel.”

My grams died before I had the chance to meet her. She was often referred to as the matriarch of my mom’s family.  She was the glue that kept everyone together.  My mom always talks about her and tells me stories of how she used to drink Natural Light beer, occasionally, because she thought it was all natural.  She tells me stories about grams would wake everyone up at 5 a.m. on Sunday mornings to start making homemade pasta before they went to church.  My mom tells me about how big her heart was and how she would sacrifice everything for her family.  Grams worked three jobs just to make sure my mom and aunt had a roof over their heads and lived a happy life.  My grams was a superhero to my mom.  Twenty-five years ago, cancer took her away. I know I didn’t really meet her, but have you ever felt like you know somebody even without meeting them. Well, that is how I always felt, I always felt that I knew her.  I don’t believe in much, but I do firmly believe that when a love one leaves this earth, they become your guardian angel, and that is exactly what my grams has become for me.

You ever hear that little voice deep inside you, in the core of your being?  I have heard that voice for the better part of my life. It is the voice that tells you to keep going, to keep fighting for what you want.  The voice has been my gram’s voice.  Even though she left this planet she never left me, she’s always been there.  She’s been there to walk with me through the light and to push me along through the darkness.  She never ever let me feel like I was alone.  She has always been and will continue to be my guide through my life giving me the strength to move forward, the courage to face every challenge, the compassion to let me have an open heart, and a constant stream of love.

There is an old story about the beautiful red cardinal bird.  The story behind cardinals is when you see them in the wild it’s a sign that a lost loved one is coming back to visit.  I heard this story, and I absolutely loved it which I why I got a tattoo of a cardinal on my shoulder and put that same cardinal on my golf bag.  

Now for the rest of my life, everywhere I go, every step I take for the rest of my life my grams is always the closest thing to my heart.  So next time you see a cardinal flying around or hanging out on a branch looking at you, sit there look back at it and say hello to a loved one.  For I believe it is your loved one checking in on you and letting you know everything is going to be ok.  I am forever thankful for my grams. She has kept me safe, gave me my mom and the best life I could possibly imagine. Happy Birthday Grams (April 14, 1941 – March 15, 1995).

“It didn’t matter how big our house; it mattered that there was love in it”