"Tonight, I look up searching for you among the stars"

March 15, 2021

Hello everyone,

I hope life is treating everyone as best as possible.  I continue to send my hope and positivity to all of you throughout these difficult times we are facing in our world and any personal bumps in the road that are preventing you from truly being happy.  It has been about a month since I last talk to all of you.  A lot has happened with both my personal and professional life, but we will touch on that later this week. 

This post, I will be talking about somebody else. Today, March 15, 2021 is 25 years since my Grams left for heaven.  This week’s blog I will talking about one of the best people I have never met.

My relationship with my Grams is much different than your conventional grandparent/grandson relationship. 25 years ago, today God took my Grams back to heaven.  My Grams was suffering from colon cancer.  She tirelessly fought to the bitter end. During her fight she remained the best mom to my mom and aunt.  She prayed every night and never gave up hope.  She was kind, generous, thoughtful and above all else she loved with everything she had.  She showed my mom how to be an incredible mother, person, and friend.  She welcomed my dad with open arms into her small close-knit Italian family.  She even cooked enough food for my dad, a feat not many can achieve.  She worked multiple jobs to provide for my mom and aunt.  She believed in good education and made and worked diligently to ensure they had everything they needed to be successful.  She made it to church every Sunday, never missed a day.  She made sure nobody missed a good homemade Sunday Italian dinner.  Grams brought people together, she showed people love when they needed it most, and she was always just a phone call away no questions asked.  Today, 25 years ago God took my Grams back home and 24 years ago was when my relationship with my Grams began.

My Grams and I have never met, but I feel like we known each other for 100 years. For much of my life my mom would tell all kinds of stories from her childhood and young adult life with her mom.  She would tell me about all their Disney trips, Grams loved Disney, stories of Sea Isle City, the beach town where Grams owned a home.  Waking up at 4am on Sunday morning to start making the homemade pasta before church. She told me how much Grams loved my dad.   She knew he was a perfect match for my mom. Stories and pictures were the ways I got to know her.  As I got older, I learned about guardian angels.  I learned that every person has a guardian angel or protector of sorts.  Now to be clear, I am a firm believer in the idea that the people we lose come back to us in various spiritual like ways. Ultimately, I realized that my Grams became my guardian angel and protector for the past 24 years.  Every second of my life when I was alone, lost, scared, broken; she was there. For every graduation, every birthday, every win, when I met the woman of my dreams; she was there. When I get married, when I have kids; when I have grandkids of my own; she will be there. She was there making sure I got the push I need to get up and keep going and the hug and kiss when I succeeded.  I talk to my Grams almost every day.  We talk about anything and everything, how my day went or what I had for breakfast.  We talk about what hurts, and what makes me feel alive.  We talk about my future, the life I want to have.  I talk to her about my future family and how I am going to make sure to have a big family with a ton of kids and dogs.  I talk to her about golf, the good, the bad and everything in between and I know for a fact she would be so proud of how far I have come with golf.  I talk to her about how I fell in love.  I talk to her about my dad and how he became my best friend through golf over the years.  

However, the greatest gift she has ever given to my brother, Matt and me, is our mom.  My mom carries everything my Grams stood for and everything she wanted to leave behind in this life.  My Grams gave my entire family the glue that keeps all of us together.

Well, here we are Grams 25 whole years without you.  Each day you bring me hope and love. You always are here protecting any and all who need it. Whether you visit me in the form of a ladybug, cardinal or simply a gust of wind to let me know you are watching before I do something stupid. Thank you, Grams, I will be sure to drink a few Natty Lights (her favorite beer) for you tonight. I love you Grams.

“Tonight, I look up searching for you among the stars”